This month I’m focusing on sharing information and tips on how to cultivate more self-love. After wrapping up my People First Project in January, a strong awareness that came through was not feeling worthy enough or trusting of the desires we have for our life. One of the biggest ways we can cultivate more worthiness for our dreams is to practice more self-love.
Self-love is the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Being a sensitive person, I tend to be attracted to and often a magnet for other sensitive souls. The common thread I notice between all the sensitives I know is that the majority of the time we are putting everyone else’s needs before our own.
We feel all the feels of everyone and everything around us, and because of that, we experience a duty to help relieve pain and suffering especially those that are closest to us. We tend to take on this energy as if it is our own and sacrificing our own needs in the process. Heck, most of the time we aren’t even sure we know what our needs even are because we have been so conditioned to value what other’s need over what we need.
It’s a beautiful gift we’ve been given to feel so deeply and to have this desire to serve others in such a deep and profound way, but at what cost? We live in a society where taking care of our own needs or setting boundaries can often be seen as selfish, uncaring, or arrogant. For some, this may be true. For the sensitives of the world it’s hindering our ability to serve more on this level because we often experience burnout, physical exhaustion, chronic pain and illness.
Being highly sensitive has been viewed by society as weak and yet what the world needs more of are the sensitive one’s who can help transform so much of the pain we see around us. One of my passion’s has become to show other highly sensitive souls empowering ways to take care of ourselves so that we may continue helping and serving others in the unique ways we’ve each been gifted.
The first step in this process is observation. Before we can start making changes we need to know and have a basic understanding of who we are, what does and doesn’t work for us, how we feel in any given moment, and how we can set healthy boundaries that allow us to thrive in our healing and serving abilities that don’t lead to being exhausted at the end of each work week, or what may have compounded over time into chronic pain or health challenges.
You may be a highly sensitive person if you relate to the below statements:
*You are extremely perceptive.
*You hear “don’t take things so personally” from others.
*Making decisions can induce stress for fear of making the ‘wrong’ decision’.
*You get easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or fabric that feels uncomfortable.
*Being in crowds or large groups of people can be overstimulating.
*You become very overwhelmed when you have a huge to do list to do in a short amount of time.
*You are affected by violent movies, the news, or negative social media.
*You crave silence and your alone time and need it to refuel before dealing with the world again.
*You have a rich and complex inner life, you live a lot in your head.
These are just a few ways to help you understand if you may be a highly sensitive person. Once I began to realize that these traits were not a negative thing but a key to start unlocking the deeper truth of who I am and how I need to operate in my life in order to set myself up for success, I became more understanding and self-loving. Actions to take care of my needs became easier to make and filling myself up was no longer seen as a selfish act but a necessary one to be my brightest and most serving self.
I invite you into the first step of self-love: Observation. Begin to notice how you move through the world, what fills you up, what drains you? What does your inner dialog sound like? Notice how you feel throughout each day without judgment. Notice all the feelings you may be feeling in any given moment.
My favorite way to start with observation is to set your alarm several times throughout the day. When your alarm goes off take one minute to check in with yourself and notice what you are feeling in that moment. Don’t try to change anything or resist it, but observe how you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically. List it out in your mind and then move on with your day.
That’s it! That’s the start of deepening your self-love practice. This simple awareness begins to bring so much change to our life because we’ll start to notice patterns and become curious why we may be feeling a certain way. Our action step we can take towards deeper self love is carving out a minute here and there to check in with ourselves and to allow things to unfold from this place of self-awareness.